Changes & Choices 

To the people who have already heard me say this multiple times, I apologize for the repetition. But we are officially 1 month away from graduation. That’s 4 weeks. Or 29 days. And as day after day flies by infront of our very own eyes, it becomes easy to fall victim to the scary “oh, nothing has changed.” We become so lost in the security of the present that we forget the past is behind and the future is ahead. We take the people that we are at this time and at this place for granted. We take time for granted. And in doing so, we forget to enjoy the last bit of time thay we have left together. We forget the importance of constantly making memories, even when it’s least expected. And most importantly, we forget to turn the things we wanted to do into things that we did. That happens. Especially when you’ve spent 8 years with strangers who became family and suddenly realize that you have exactly a month left with them. I for a fact have been in denial of the unavoidable changes coming my way. And as I’ve shoved one task after the other into the drawer of procrastination bliss, the time has finally come to open that drawer and confront its occupants. Because looking back at the very beginning of senior year (ya know back when senioritis was just a thought,not a reality) EVERYTHING has changed. 

First and foremost, I’ve pulled off the daunting college decision for over 5 months now. I honestly think there was always a part of me that knew that this was the decision I would make from the very start (but, eh, it might just be the confirmation bias). Anyways, I’ve spent the past four hours talking to family members about college, life and well everything that has stressed me out about the future. In attempt to summarize that stress, I’ve been particularly worried about distance from family and the type of future I would make for myself. But as these past four hours and ultimately the past five months of silent reflection have made me realize, some things are simply bigger than that. As far as distance goes, sometimes you need a 3 hour plane ride to get home to realize how much your family means to you. It also takes that distance to discover your true potential and who you truly are. As far as making a future goes, boy is competition a monster. Often times, it becomes so incredibly easy to fall victim to comparing yourself to others. And suddenly, it becomes this dangerous race. But for what? And for who? And when you realize exactly how pointless that race, something really profound happens. You come to realize that the only person you should be competing with is yourself. The only person you need to be better than is yourself. Because ultimately it’s about improving yourself for yourself. And with that, I have a special shoutout to give to my beautiful and incredibly supportive family for helping me clean through my drawer. And with that I can finally say with great gratitude, peace and excitement that I have committed to an amazing university in Boston and will soon have to soon invest in a proper winter coat!!!

In attempt to dissuade myself from the amount of thinking I’m going to have to put into planning my future soon, I am going to make a bucketlist for the remaining month of highschool. Because, hey you aren’t going to get this time back. So why not make the most out of it. And believe me that month is closer than it seems, especially considering the fact that I finally got my cap-and-gown today. But I digress. So here’s my bucket list (really just some dreams, aspirations and goals I guess). Also, if you are a fellow senior, I challenge you to make your own list, whether it be mental or physical. Make the most out of what you have left. Graduate with no regrets.

  • Make a painting for each of my lovely teachers
  • Look at Los Angeles from the Griffith Observatory  (because ayyy senior memories)
  • Finish my highschool scrapbook
  • Watch the sunset with my fellow seniors
  • Try something new
  • Actually have a Senior Skip day
  • Have a meaningful conversation with someone I barely talk to
  • Buy a super Texan dorm decoration
  • Walk that stage

    Glhf y’all.

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